Funny Telegraph attack on the QCA

The Daily Telegraph has a mock oral for an applicant for membership of the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority. It was occasioned by the decision to abolish oral exams in modern languages, and is headed 'Never say Latin in the quango tango'.


“Never mind, I think the way I posed the question made you writhe. Why don't you sit over there in the nice armchair?”

“Yes, often I like to sit in a nice armchair. I have wondered often if I would wish to be a member of the Furniture Safety Standards Committee.”

“Do you believe that exams have become too easy?”

“No, I do not believe this. I myself believe, er, that I'm going to be sick. Sorry, it is when people say that word 'exams' I have these feelings of nausea and also a rash occurs. You see there are many blotches on my arms and face.”

“Don't distress yourself. Have a glass of water and I'll change the subject. What do you think about Latin?”

“I can't breathe! Help, it's a panic attack. Permit me to put a paper bag over my head. In my childhood, you see, I had a traumatic experience with an ablative absolute.”

“Finally, do you think pupils should study the works of Shakespeare? Mr Truscott, please stop screaming like that and come back in off that window ledge. Everything's going to be all right. You've got the job. Welcome to the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority and congratulations.”